The whole month of Feb

By the time you read this we will have spent our first whole month out in the village. Currently I am writing this from our house (we have been out here for 3 weeks now). It rained last night, a cold south wind blew in and dropped the temp down to 68F this morning and its only been a high of 80F today. This might not seem such a big deal to most but after the last 2 weeks with the temps over 100F and for a week over 110F, its a welcomed break. I looked back on my journal and the highest temp was 112F and that night it had only cooled down to 110F in the house at 8:30pm. I had heard it said (and now I totally agree), "the heat is better as long as there is a breeze." There were days when the air was so still and not a sound could be heard and the sweat would just drip off of you, I have never experience that kind of sweating, all I was doing was sitting still.

That being said, we have done very well in the heat, we have fans in the house and having a no complaining attitude goes a long way. I will say though the heat it does have its positives, its been too hot and dry for bugs, I never have to dry my dishes and by the time I get all the laundry hung most of it is dry and I can take it back down again, I don't have to heat water for washing dishes or baths, we hardly eat  it's a perfect weight loss plan. Also it's been sunny so we are getting lots of vit D and finally after 5 months of being sick, we are healthy! The heat in a lot of ways makes life easier.

In other news, we have been working on some projects for the house, like getting it better sealed up so the opossum rat, large centipedes, lizards and huge spiders can't come inside. Jon built some storage shelves, I rearranged the furniture to make more space and thanks to pintrest converted an old dresser into a shelf. We brought out the deep freezer, which has been the most awesome thing of all. Being able to double a batch of muffins and freeze it, cook a big pot of strew and divide it into 3 meals to freeze, has freed me up in so many ways. Not to mention, the unlimited ice we can make which makes drinking so much better when the tap water comes out at 100F.

I started our new school year with the kids beginning of Feb. Jamen is in second grade this year and Jade is in kindergarten. I am using all new material this year and I was the most nervous the first day of school. But the kids are liking everything so far and so am I. Jon has dived head first into learning the language and he is loving it! He's been sharing all he's learning with me and our coworkers have also been a weather of information.

Among other things I am still learning how life works out here, between the power going out (it can be anywhere from 9 hours to 15 min) and dealing with limited water on cloudy days or knowing when is the best day to do laundry. Its been so dry and hot here, there hasn't been enough rain for the peoples crops to grow and the village cisterns have been dry for a while. People come asking for food, water and ice, I am learning that life can be very hard out here. But I am also learning that God has provided food that grows among the thorns (which seem to cover every inch of the land out here) and we have been able to help gather wild beans for our friends and they are able to hunt the wild animals.

I think too we have had our first bout of culture shock even though we are in the same country, life and the people are different here.

Also for fun I have planted an "herb garden", currently I have sunflowers, anise, moringa, yellow flowers, dill and aloe growing. It's something I enjoy and it's nice to have a hobbie.



So that's been our first month, looking forward to the adventure of this month!

Once Again

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 It has been so fun this month to enjoy all the fun traditions we hadn't experienced the last three years....

Decorating the tree in the cool of the house 

Frosting cookies with Pa

Wearing warm winter hats and mittens

 Then Jade turned 5! I can hardly believe its been 5 years!

It was so fun to throw her a themed party, it was a surprise and she loved it!

Frozen crafts 

Building a "snowman" 

Chocolate cupcakes with vanilla icing! 

Fun Frozen foods and ideas (thank you pinterest)

Both sets of Grandparents were able to be there and some of the cousins, it was a good party!

So this brings our furlough to a close, its been a full 7 months but a good time to catch our breath a bit, do fun things as a family, see all our family and visit with friends and churches. We are almost packed and ready to go back in three days! 

Emotionally Raw

There is no other way to say it October and November have left me emotionally raw. From Jamen fracturing his arm to our family being sick for the last 8 weeks and me feeling guilty for not being able to pour into other people around me. The hearing of the sudden and tragic death of a three year boy in our village and feeling the weight of why we are doing what we are doing. The high spring temperatures (118F) that have left people in the village with sleepless nights and walking to get water at night because its too hot during the day. And me feeling guilty for sleeping in and not having to leave the temperature controlled house for days. The planning of our return and yet needing to be present here and now. The reality that there will be hot and sleepless nights ahead...my list goes on as it slow strips away leaving me feeling beaten and raw.

I read a fellow missionary blog and she said it so well I have to quote her because I couldn't have said it any better. "I'm worried that my commentary on American life right now might come across more critical than I intend, so I just don't write about it. I don't feel critical, but I do feel a little lost and overwhelmed at times and I am not sure that I could explain those feelings well on this blog without it sounding like I am bashing everything around me. People constantly address the issue of Third Culture Kids  (children who were raised in a culture outside of their parents’ culture for a significant part of their development years and who don't feel like they are truly a part of their culture of origin or fully part of their host culture. They are a mixture of both and therefore represent a "third" culture) but nobody really talks about Third Culture Adults. And I think what I am feeling and experiencing should be labeled as that. Because even though I spent almost 30 years in North American culture, there are some parts I never experience that I am experiencing now."

          "But the real transition has been that I have tried my best to immerse myself in a completely different culture for the last three years, and jumping back into my own has been more complicated because of the new sights, sounds, and thoughts that I have been processing for three years. I can't un-see the things that I have seen that now make me view the entire world- not just these two separate and unique cultures- through different lenses. I have a whole new perspective, and as most of you know, perspective can make all the difference." 

She says it so well, doesn't she? I am so there and can totally relate and understand. I realized this month that my perspective has changed in so many ways. Since we came back to the states I knew how I saw things was different but I kinda pushed it away or shoved it down and blamed it on just being out of tune with things. But now I realize I view the entire world different now and that's OK. So in my times of feeling raw with the weight of a new perspective I have thrown my self into the word in the early quite of the morning, cried out to the Lord, been burly eyed with lack of sleep and hardly able to engage those around me. I pray for guidance and renewed excitement, I plan and organize and am thankful for this time of AC and indoor heating and rich foods to nourish our bodies. I talk with my husband and close friends who have been there and understand, not to have a pity party or brag about how our perspectives are different now but to be encouraged and/or come alongside. I'm not prepared for the things that are challenging and that shake me to my core but I don't have to be, I have be walking in truth and looking to the Lord to guide me and grow me in it.  

This month I've also been realizing that in just 7 1/2 short weeks we'll head back. So I have stopped buying luxury items like body wash and switched back over to bar soap. I'm letting the mouth wash run out. Some might think this ridiculous but I couldn't justify throwing out half used items, I don't want to leave them behind and I'm not taking half used items back (I need all the space I can). So here I am, reminding the kids to wash and rinse quickly while showering, don't leave the water running while brushing teeth, I've been writing down new recipes and menu planning for a whole month (breakfast, lunch and dinner) to save myself the time when we get back. Its a good thing too cause its taking me a long time. 

Then to top it off I've been reminded not to be so attached to our stuff. 

We lost our favorite backpack, the one we have had for 8 years and had been collecting national park passes on, it had all our memories! When Jon was on his way on a camping trip it flew out of the back of the truck, he lost everything (clothes, camera, flashlight, sleeping bag, ect.)! He called me and I spent over an hour driving around with the kids, looking and stopping on the interstate. I told the kids and we cried together. I actually got a little mad at God, thinking its just a backpack, can't you let us find it! But then He reminded me that I was being prideful and putting too much weight and identity in something like the backpack. I was playing the "woe is me" card and "pitiful poor missionary" card, thinking to my self, "we don't have much in this world and you take the back pack away?" Pathetic I know but I'm being real with you none the less and the Lord was good in reminding me my thinking was wrong and so was my attitude. And really in the grand scheme of things, I would rather loose all my stuff and still have my family, and that is where my focus should be, so I'm kinda thankful it took the loosing of the backpack to remind me and nothing more.

September Got Away

September has been full! We were in TN for 3 full weeks, getting to know people in a church out there and visiting the Smoky Mountains. My kids made friends and it broke my heart to have to move on, but I am so thankful for other kids accepting my kids and my kids jumping in and making friends. I'm thankful for people who included us and did fun things for our kids like take them to the county fair. It was fun for me too, I met new people, learned lots about canning (which will help me later back in PY), kept homeschooling and learned more about myself.

Rainbow falls in the smoky mountains.

It was beautiful! 

Baskins Creek Falls

Jonas was loving the orange (his favorite color) leaves

Jamen and Jade worked hard in their books to get their junior badges.

Finally we said goodbye to TN and we made our way to GA we stopped in a place called Cataloochee in NC for two days to camp. We got to see lots of elk and up close too!

We saw 30 elk one day and 20 more the next day 

Our last day the rain and sun created an amazing rainbow 

I even saw the end of the rainbow! I was pretty excited and a little disappointed there was no pot of gold at the end. 

This last part of September simply has gotten away from me. I had my birthday (this is my last year in my 20s, hard to believe) and after that we have been sick every weekend and then Jamen broke his arm. It hasn't been fun (just being honest) but I am so thankful for so many things through all this. Thankful doctors close by, fun sick foods, cool house to battle the fevers, freezer space for popsicles, a dryer to dry favorite blankets quickly and lots of kid movies!

Culture Shock 101

I walk along just looking. The pots and pans, plush towels and soft sheets are everywhere and a rainbow of colors line the walls everywhere I turn. Slowly the walls start to close in on me, the walls lined with their rainbow of colors smile down at me, looming over me, shelves with their sparkling wares screamed "buy me", my heart started to race, my face goes pale, tears blurred my vision. Closer they come and my vision becomes darker. Suddenly firm and gentle hands grip my shoulders, my mom pulls me into a hug and I blink hard to not let the tears fall. I cling to her as she whispers, "its ok, I understand, we can leave if we need to." I hugged her back and wiped my eyes, I stared harder at the walls as if to push them back where they belong and I say, "no, I can do this."  

Culture shock is  defined as the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply travel to another type of life.




Its been three months today since we have been back. I haven't been able to write simply because I didn't know what to say. I had too much emotion and not enough words. But today I think I am able to put my emotion into a few words.
My personal feelings of disorientation came at me from all sides the second the plane touched down and we walked into the Miami airport. The smell was different... bleached and clean and it was so bright! The kids hit culture shock when we strapped them into their 5 point harness car seats for 5 hours. My husband embraced it all, he drove the car like a pro on the 6 lane highway out of Miami. 

Less then 24 hours after we had landed we walked into Walmart...we walked like we were in slow motion, staring with eyes wide and mouths open. The lights were bright and there was so much space. Now I had been planning this trip to Walmart for three years, I couldn't wait! I thought I remembered what it all looked like and how to shop in the states. Boy, was I wrong. I set out to find the 6 things we needed for dinner and breakfast the next morning. Jon and I split the list to save time. I only manged to get yogurt cause I stood looking at all the choices for 10 min! People were looking at me and saying "excuse me" trying to get their own stuff. I finally just grabbed some and ran away. Jon, meanwhile, had found the rest of what we needed and took the kids down the cereal isle to count the different kinds of Cheerios. He did all that while I was just trying to pick out yogurt! This was only in the first 24 hours and I knew I would face much more.

Little things started to stick out to me that the kids noticed, they noticed that there weren't any guards in front of every store. They freaked out when it started to rain, we almost never travel in the rain. The foods were different, what people once or twice a week here, we eat once a year when it comes in season. They are adjusting very well, everything is new and exciting and they are getting use to all the traveling and new people. It been awesome to see my kids interact and share what they like and miss about PY. 

Days turned into weeks, I started to drive again after 3 years, it was like learning all over again. Hands at 10 and 2 the whole time and I hugged the white line. I consistently go 10 to 15 under the speed limit. Shopping got better, I forced my self to go out to the dollar store, go to the post office. I realized that I use to be the person who wouldn't talk to the people who worked at the store, now I don't care and I ask questions. I have embraced being able to speak in my heart language to express everything I want to without fumbling for words.
Slowly my thinking/remembering where I was changed. I talked a little louder to my kids in the store, I managed to greet people at church without trying to kiss both cheeks, I stopped saying "excuse me" to enter and leave a conversation, we have had to learn to be on time and I freak out less about carrying enough water and snacks when we travel. We still take way to long when we leave someones house after dinner and its weird to say goodbye at the door. So many cultural things we had adjusted to and were part of the norm, suddenly weren't normal. 

So, here I am, driving, talking, thinking, relating and enjoying the things I've missed for the last three years. I probably sleep more than I should, I defiantly eat more cheddar cheese than I should but over all I think the crazy culture shock is gone. More how the Lord is growing me in another post. Meanwhile, here just a few pictures...

Playing tent in Grandma and Grandpas back yard

Big bowls of ice cream! 

Feeding the deer at the zoo!

Enjoying the views!